I never earned enough to build a giant portfolio but I still consider myself wealthy. I’m wealthy in the way that I can fund my early retirement lifestyle without NEEDING to work. That said, I purposely try not to appear wealthy. I’ve never been into status and my lifestyle is exactly aligned with the chosen socioeconomic level that I want to be in. But what do you do when your cloak of stealth wealth malfunctions? I made a small mistake that caused a crack in my financial cloaking. It caused questions within my social circle and within myself.
Encountering Stealth Wealth Malfunctions
Stealth wealth malfunctions don’t have to be anything major to reveal one’s financial standing or challenge one’s chosen perceived standing. Retiring young already provides its share of social mystery. My stealth wealth deviation challenged perceptions and renewed long sidelined questions.
It all started when I did something with nothing but joy in my heart. I decided to knock a longtime item off of my bucket list. Something others might consider silly, but one aligned with one of my lifetime hobbies.
All it took was showing up in a new vehicle.
Yes, I bought a new car. Something that couldn’t be hidden nor did I want to hide it. I’m an automotive enthusiast and my car hobby is a big part of my retirement. I decided it was time to move on from my 21 year old Corvette that I’ve driven for 11 years and went to a new 2019 Jeep Wrangler 2 door Sport that was greatly discounted after the new year. I’ve always wanted to have a Jeep like this since experiences one summer with a CJ5 as a teenager.
It was a “someday I want to” bucket list thing.
To me it’s simple, it’s a convertible sports car that’s fun to drive in any season. Road conditions, what road conditions! Obviously it’s not a sports car like any of my past old Corvettes. But then again my driving desires dropped far below their performance capabilities long ago. Jeeps are common where I live in Colorado. In 2019 our last snow storm was the end of May and the first one in early October. Owning one is hardly a revelation of opulence. Mine’s even a stripped down model with manual windows and locks, just as I wanted.
My automotive choices and hobby are well known and when I pulled up in it at my favorite coffee shop/craft beer purveyor I was stoked to talk about it. It took little time for that to happen because everyone knows that I have been driving the same old cars for years, for some of them even decades.
Where my stealth wealth sin occurred is in the way I answered the question: What’s your payment?
Without thinking I just said, zero, I paid cash. That was instantly met with the snarky reply, it must be nice. Those who were within ear shot quickly jumped into the conversation. Look what Tommy just wrote a check for. When are you buying the next round of drinks for everyone here? They were obviously kidding me, or were they?
I innocently made a simple mindless slip. While I was successfully and happily living my lifestyle using stealth wealth practices, I was unaware that I’m in a perceived income zone with a financial status below the capability of paying cash for a new car.
Whether or not in the overall scheme of things it even matters much to them, it mattered to me.
Surprisingly, I found this unsettling. I’m someone who prides himself on not caring what others think about me. Especially those who flaunt their wealth and title. For them I go out of my way to let them know I dropped out of the rat race and retired early with just enough. Purposely choosing employment liberation over being a financially desperate servant to the system. But with this new slip-up within my chosen socioeconomic level I now felt like I might have messed up and revealed more about me than I comfortably wanted to.
I enjoy being part of the socioeconomic groove I chose and am perceived part of.
People accepted that I have enough to live on a budget and not need to work. I’ve preached my personal finance FIRE beliefs and was considered as being one of them, watching my dollars and making it all work out. But a new question will now have to be answered: Is it acceptable that I can make a cash purchase like this too? In my stealth wealth efforts I missed this aspect. This is the first time since FIRE that I broke character.
What I Did Right
My Chosen Income Zone
We live in a moderate cost area where the median household income is $121K. I am sure that the published figure I’m using here is actually lower than what is current. Still, our overall household budget today comes in less than half this amount. It’s only that high because it includes the $20K a year I pay for our health insurance and associated out of pocket expenses. That is my chosen stealth wealth zone. It matches perfectly with the majority of my social circle. I enjoy frugal living and that includes free activities that most of my social circle are part of. What I did right is choosing an income zone where I never have to fake it to fit in or live the lifestyle I want to live.
Don’t Drive Status Cars
Although I love cars and could have expensive rides, I instead have a few old purpose driven autos. When I say old, my daily driver (weather permitting) is a 1981 Toyota SR5 truck. I bought it in 1993 and my then 12 year old son and I customized it by turning it into a hardtop convertible. All of my cars together, including the Corvette, would add up to be worth $20K.
Although the Jeep is new and raises my overall auto net-worth, it’s hardly unique or a status car and is less expensive than most newer autos on the road.
Dress For The Income Zone I Want To Be Seen In
I prefer casual attire and that fits right in where I’m happiest. No expensive clothes, shoes, cell phones, or watches. I dress like the group I want to be part of and is representative of the way I prefer to live.
Don’t Brag
I never self promote or brag about anything. I stick to my budget living the way I want to live and practice what I preach. I’m humble when talking about finances with anyone. Although my portfolio’s size is nothing like most FIRE aficionados, I keep it private and avoid talking about what I have. I know it’s most likely more than the majority of people in my chosen income zone.
Share and Encourage
I’ve a habit of talking about personal finances and share the common good practices that I’ve used to retire early. I use my early retirement story to encourage others that they could make it their goal too. I also volunteer in the community because I not only want to be part of my chosen social income zone, I really enjoy it and want to give back too.
What I Did Wrong
I Got Too Comfortable With My Financial Freedom and Capability
It’s one thing to live in the perfect stealth wealth income zone that’s aligned with your budget, but another to underestimate onetime visible moves that challenges it. If we were a true $60K a year household living here, could we have been able to do this? Most of my social circle are local folks who fall below the median household income levels. While some who commute into the city for professional occupations earn more, many work and live in town where earning a $40K salary with benefits is a big accomplishment. For most people, paying cash for a brand new car even with a trade-in isn’t possible.
My Answer Was Short and To The Point Without Showing Pain
Although it wasn’t my intention, my answer that I paid cash could be seen as hubris or bragging. In a way, rubbing their nose in it that I can do this, when they probably can’t. My actual answer should have shown a sign of ordinary financial pain or sacrifice in making the decision to pay cash for it. It came across as being easier than it actually was. I was caught off guard and cut off by the snarky reply and the subsequent comments because I hadn’t thought enough about this aspect.
What Now, The Cat’s Out Of The Bag
I’m happy to report that all is well. As the ribbing commenced one of the group came up and put their hand on my shoulder saying, I knew you would buy a Wrangler. You’ve only been asking me questions about mine for over a year. We should be buying your drink because you’re probably broke now.
That snapped me out of my malfunctioning fog. I was able then to say, I took some market profits earlier and was waiting for a great deal. I had just enough cash with my Corvette to pull it off with its discounted price. It’s something from my bucket list and after my recent health scare I had to ask myself, if not now, when? Best of all, it was all true.
All was forgiven. No, not by them, but myself.
In the end they really didn’t care one way or another. It was all me. This malfunction only lasted a short time. But it stuck with me how I felt guilty about how it might have looked or came across. I care about these people and our relationships. I know and will never forget the struggle of trying to get by to make ends meet.
It’s just another mental issue of my early retirement to learn from. I grew up low income, raised a family, made it to engineer, cut living expenses, and invested until I had just enough. Then pulling the plug young while I was still on top and just walked away. Something I’m proud of but realize I had some luck to have pulled off. My brain decided to remind me of that.
In my new ride exuberance I slipped up and was caught off guard. I said something in a way that should have immediately included the additional conversation. It didn’t matter that I stayed within my personal finance rules of which I also eventually included in extended conversations:
- Only buying what I can afford to pay cash for.
- Doing all the research and clearly making sure it’s something that will add happiness to my life.
- Finally, if I’m going to do it, get the best deal I can.
What else can I say about my stealth wealth malfunctions?
I had done such a great job of living within my stealth wealth practices that my stepping out of character with this purchase messed with me. Early retirement continues to be an adventure in more ways than one. Just when you think everything seems figured out, something comes up to surprise you. Even after 10 years in early retirement I’m still learning new things.
I was at the grocery store and saw a newer Tacoma next to me that had just the right amount of options. Functional, not flashy, just a good looking truck. As I was getting in my car the owner was unlocking it, so I said “That is a NICE looking truck!” He grinned ear to ear and said “I have been saving a long time to get one”. I imagine that he had heard comments similar to what you had gotten from his group. People are predisposed to say something out of jealousy as their first remark. Hopefully they end up saying something complimentary after giving it some thought.
Thanks for the comment Ralph. I think you are right, for some a snarky reply is first out no matter what. Once things moved away from the payment question/answer it did go more the way of your conversation with the Tacoma owner and ended well. I was just caught off guard and something that stuck with me as an interesting mental hit.
Tommy
Jeeps are so cool! Congrats on having such a sweet ride. For some of us stealth wealth was never a possibility. I ran the company that was the largest employer in the area and when you are the plant manager of a huge complex in a small town everyone knows who you are and everyone assumes you are rich. So I never pretended to not be even though my cars and house and possessions were more modest than many of my employees. It didn’t matter, to them I was automatically rich because of my job. And one thing you’ll learn is once people think you are relatively well off compared to them, they will not want your opinion on money issues. They automatically will think you are out of touch with real people because you have no money worries. But you didn’t do anything wrong, in fact you are to be admired and imitated because you’ve done things so right.
Thanks for the comment steveark. I think for where I live and my changing driving desires the 2 door wrangler is a very sensible sports car. You do have a different dynamic to deal with. I don’t have that preconception of wealth to deal with. My money conversations are always about what I did and believe, but only if asked or it organically comes up. Living on a budget within my chosen income zone means I can share in the same pain of increased cost of living issues.
Tommy
Thanks for sharing your experience and hope you enjoy the new Jeep! I had a similar experience with a colleague at work earlier this week. He knew we had a 15-year mortgage on our house, and he asked me what the rate was and whether we were planning to refinance given the recent drop in interest rates. Rather than admitting we had paid off our mortgage a couple years ago, I told him what the rate used to be and that we’d have to look into refinancing. While I may have avoided an uncomfortable conversation similar to yours, I feel a little bad that I wasn’t honest. Congratulations on not being a liar like me!
Thanks for the comment ROMT. I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much about that. We strive to hide our true financial picture where and when we can. I think my lesson was that even after a decade of stealth wealth practice I could still be caught off guard and possibly screw up something I don’t want messed with.
Tommy
It is bad manners for them to ask you about your mortgage anyway. I paid off my mortgage early too mainly because I didn’t refinance or sell and move to a bigger house every few years like many of the people I know.
It’s a sad state of affairs when the average Joe assumes only rich people can dream of paying cash for a car.
If people only bought cars they could actually afford with cash, eventually, they’d be in a better position to pay cash for a nice vehicle themselves someday.
But that’s not the world we live in, apparently.
Cheers!
-PoF
Thanks for the comment PoF. It’s sad that a large portion of society accepts car payments for multiple years over saving and just paying cash. Even those who make good money. The concept of if you can’t pay cash for it then maybe you can’t afford it is lost. I happened to choose a lower stealth wealth income level so I can see why my income peers would question how I bought new with cash. Had I bought a used one this way I think it may have been different.
Tommy
When I bought my last new vehicle in 2004 if I financed it I got an extra $1000 off. I only had to make payments for 6 months. A friend asked me what my payments were and I told him $3500. It really confused him because it was not a Porche.
A few years ago when I was still working full time, I finally decided to buy my first new car after running my old one into the ground with over 200K miles. I had it over 13 years (purchased used) and was good at fixing it cheap doing many repairs myself. But the trade off wasnt worth it anymore after an issue developed with the engine that would be more costly. The lower mileage used cars that I liked didnt seem to be much better of a deal so I shopped hard for a deal on a new one. This included in my mind about 5 years or more of near worry free ownership from having everything being new. No worries about tires, brakes etc and a long warranty. Im not rich or even had a high paying job, but all-together I did have plenty of savings to cover it over making payments. Somehow I thought about it ahead of time, and came up with an answer for “How much are your payments?” in case I was asked – which I was. I put some numbers into a car loan calculator to at least have a reasonable response. Fortunately, no details were asked and the conversation moved past it quickly.
I would have felt the same way as you so I can understand where you are coming from. I dont want to be the guy everyone thinks is always going to buying everyone drinks or picking up the slack either. Its no ones business what you have and most people are where they are due to their own poor choices. I think you made the right choice getting your new Jeep. Sometimes you have to do whats best for you and not worry what everyone else might think. Just try to do it as stealthy as possible 🙂
Thanks for the comment Arrgo. I had been looking at a low mile used one but with the great deal I got, the extra $4K this new one cost with full 3 yrs grill to tailgate/5 yrs power train warranty, 2 yrs maintenance, and no issue with pre-existing hidden problems was a more worry free decision as you too went with. I do think using stealth wealth practices is beneficial in many ways. I just got too comfortable with things to not be fully prepared after stepping slightly out of character. It was a mental reminder of how unique the FIRE life is.
Tommy
Really awesome article. Enjoyed while reading, also it helped to understand how useful it is. Keep sharing!
Thanks for the comment Robbat. Glad you enjoyed it.
Tommy
Great article! I know exactly how you felt after the Jeep purchase. I am a young healthcare professional who earns a good income, lives well below my means, and really gets no pleasure from material items. I just recently sold my 2000 Toyota Celica that had lots of blistering paint due to living near the ocean for two years. It looked out of place at our surgery center physicians’ parking area. I purchased a brand new 2019 Lexus IS 250 F Sport. When it became unavoidable to answer that I paid cash for the vehicle to my inner circle friends, I felt like I “blew my cover,” too.
Thanks for the comment Phil. Nice car! It’s one that will most likely have a long life. I have preached that I only got where I am because I don’t buy anything I can’t afford to pay for. All credit card purchases are paid monthly where I get paid to use it and haven’t paid non-mortgage interest in over 25 years. That’s why I didn’t think about how my paying cash for a new car would come across within my chosen economic slot. Just another angle to cover in FIRE stealth wealth efforts.
Tommy
I did the same a few years ago. Somebody asked me how much flood insurance was on our new house. I said we decided against it. There was a real estate broker in the group and she said “you have to have flood insurance to get a mortgage” and I blurtout that we didn’t have one. Crickets. Oh well.
I’m currently calling clients to tell them that I’m retiring, and when I talk to ones who seem annoyed that I’m able to retire this young, I imply that my husband will still be working, or that I’m going to take some time off and do something else.
Congratulations on your Jeep! I have my eye on a late model used Miata!
Thanks for the comment She’s FIRE’d. Funny thing. When I started and encore career and used 100% of income to clear my small mortgage it wasn’t looked at as breaking stealth wealth character like the new car purchase was. Goes to show how we never know what may be looked at as financially mysterious. I know people (includes autocross and track racers) who are into Miatas and they absolutely love them. I’m sure you will too.
Tommy
In April or May I’ll be buying our minivan with cash. My close friends know I’m saving up to pay cash and they also know I’m pursuing FI so they know I want to avoid a car payment. It’s also a used 2015 so it’s easier to justify paying cash. For everyone else, I don’t expect them to ask but if they did I suppose I’d say I saved up for almost a year, which is the truth.
Thanks for the comment Kamran. You have the right answer already in queue. One I should have immediately also said and would have had I not been caught off guard. Also, buying used would have been more within my character and more acceptable within my chosen stealth wealth socioeconomic zone. Good luck with the purchase and enjoy the van.
Tommy
Great post & I can relate! We live in an apartment for about 6 yrs now & I drove a 2007 Toyota Corolla w/ a nasty fender bender on the rear end. I wear my hospital clothes when I go to work so my neighbors assumed I was still in training w/ plenty of debt. About a month ago I lost control again while driving my Corolla in the West Michigan snow even with the snow tires on. This happened multiple times since 2010 and I thought at that time I just needed snow tires. After showing the dash cam footage to my colleague, he pointed out that I did not have ABS equipped (not a car person so this was all new to me!) So I bought a new Subaru Forester and when one of my neighbors saw me driving it, he immediately said “I guess we now know who’s really rich”. Busted! ?
Thanks for the comment Paragonimus. Your Forester should be awesome to drive on snow days now. I am out of touch with the thinking that a Forester and my base Wrangler are somehow equated with wealth but with a lot of people struggling to get by and some needing to focus on others I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m coming to the conclusion that any new car regardless of type/cost is somehow beyond stealth wealth practices. The Jeep I bought is only my 3rd new car in 45 years of driving so I guess even for me it’s rare and possibly requires explanation of which I hadn’t considered.
Tommy
Hahaha! I love that your story ends with a new Subaru Forester! I bought my first (and only) new car the year I graduated from residency – it was a 2003 Subaru Forester, that I am still driving to this day – some of the panels are different colors, the front grill is held on with zip ties, the rear wiper doesn’t work, the AC is broke, and the driver’s window doesn’t go down, but it’s a great opener for my annual lecture to the residents about saving and loan repayment entitled “Everybody Drives a Used Car”
With a souped up suspension, all-wheel drive, and studded snow tires I’ve got the Pennsylvania winter roads beat (I did purposefully disable the ABS, however, after it tried to kill me one too many times – I’d rather pump them and be able to get down to the road surface under the slush)
I really like the information given here. It has been very useful. Thanks for sharing. Antonio.
Hi. I sincerely do NOT understand how buying a new Jeep would crack your stealth. About 9 out of 10 cars on the road are financed, and the average price of a new car is well above 30K. So what you got a 50K car? Just tell folks that you financed it and that you are on the hook for a 60 months payment plan, just like all the other Lexus, BMW and Benz owners, but you only live once, so you went for it. If somebody believes that driving a new Lexus or some sort put you in the rich category because it is an upscale brand, than this just says more about that individual who doesn’t know how to assess someone “richness”. I see people all the time driving nice Benzes etc and there is no way I equate that with rich. Quite the contrary, using the statistics out there, I am pretty sure that most of those nice cars have been financed. A 50K car these days means nothing, absolutely nothing in terms of financial success. If you haven’t told anyone how you paid for it, I would just say “financed” and you are just a member of the other 95% “suckers” who financed a depreciating vehicle, except you know better. Don’t sweat over it. Peace!
Thanks for comment Car man. I agree with you. Although a fully loaded Jeep Wrangler Rubicon can set someone back +$50K mine was a low cost Sport $30K. Less than most mini-vans. Even so, my issue was being caught off guard and just naturally answering the car payment question with Zero without thinking much about it. I think that even at the amount I paid or less that paying cash is difficult/impossible for most people today so yes, it did say something about my wealth within my chosen income zone.
Tommy
Well, you said you paid cash for it, now we all know you are poor. You lost 30K and you really need to take it slow for the time being. So there, I fixed your stealth. Be glad it was a 30K jeep and not your hidden 300K boat?. Chill, don’t sweat over it and the stealth comes back. People tend to be forgetful in the course of time. If you have young kids and at some point they go to college and you can pay easily for all that, then what are you going to say? Better learn about those student loans to prepare . Peace
Hey Car man. You have the exact short comeback I should have said after the snarky “must be nice” reply. Ya, and now I’m broke. Thanks, now added to my stealth wealth tool kit.
Tommy
You downplay it a bit here, but I am concerned that your friend group immediately became a little hostile and negative towards you for paying cash for your car. I’d keep close eyes on these people going forward. Friends are supposed to be happy for your accomplishments, not jealous and antagonistic.
Thanks for the comment and concern Kate. I do think the whole episode said more about me than them. I came to realize that they were just giving me a bad time, a ribbing. My lesson was learned in my initial reaction to it after my quick answer to a surprise question. With all my efforts to present myself a certain way I felt financially exposed. In the end they really were happy for me.
Tommy
Hi,
It makes sense for one to maintain the low profile. I go for such approach to avoid the unnecessary attention.
WTK
Thanks for the comment WTK. You are right, there’s no valid reason to doing anything that brings unnecessary attention.
Tommy
Nice and well articulated article. Keep up the good work.
It’s bad manners for them to ask about your loan anyway! I also paid off my loans early due to the fact that I can’t refinance or promote and move to a bigger house each few years like the various people!
Thanks for the comment Jose. Being debt free is probably the biggest financial win anyone can make. Manners? It seems nobody understands that anymore. In my case these people are friends or acquainted enough to be allowed to kid me into embarrassment instead of anger.
Tommy
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